


Chronology

by Ailavyn_Siniyash



Category: Steelheart - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: And then this happened, Gen, I WAS TRYING TO WRITE FLUFF, Trans Character, WTF THE FUCK MY MIND, but i will fight you about trans megan, firefight spoilers, i will fight you and i never fight anyone, tw assault mention, tw fire, why, yes trans megan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 01:14:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3671982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailavyn_Siniyash/pseuds/Ailavyn_Siniyash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You never wanted to be an Epic.</p>
<p>That is a lie, but lying is what you've done for years, and lying to yourself is even easier than it used to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chronology

**Author's Note:**

  * For [singingclock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/singingclock/gifts).



You never wanted to be an Epic.

That is a lie, but lying is what you've done for years, and lying to yourself is even easier than it used to be.

 

You were nine when Calamity rose, a confused little kid who hadn't even figured out that you were a girl instead of the boy you were assigned at birth. 

 

You were ten when the Epics started appearing, and of course you wanted to be one! They were self-assured where you were confused, they were confident where you were shy, they were invincible where you hurt every day from the teasing. 

They knew who they were, while you spent every waking moment questioning yourself.

 

You were eleven when you got your wish. You felt the power tingle through you one night, unbearable, glorious, a deadly attack of pins and needles, everything you could ever want at your fingertips. 

That your powers combed through possibility, you realised later, was sharply ironic for a girl like you, a dreamer, a wisher, a girl who tried her best to be special but was never more than average. That you should be able to see other lives you might have lived, mistakes you might not have made, was a constant weight on you. You could always have been better. Those other lives showed it.

You were not Firefight from the beginning, of course. You tried on different names, but none of them seemed to fit quite right. You left your home and roamed the city, a small figure, blonde and tattered. You became proficient with your projections, and grew ruthless with those who attacked you, assaulted you, had something, anything, you wanted.

 

You were thirteen when the last of Portland was razed to the ground. You rose from the ruins of the decimated city, a glorious phoenix from a burnt offering of corpses and dreams.

You fled.

 

You were twenty-one when you joined the Reckoners. You handed them your old name like a piece of crumpled paper. 

Megan. 

Centuries ago, it seemed, you spent hours upon hours pouring through lists and taking notes, and, after a year of careful consideration, you finally made your decision. With great ceremony you took your nicest pen and wrote Megan A Tarash in the front of your new notebook, the letters each deliberately placed and carefully rendered. You had to try again when you blinked and the ink was swimming in a tear.

And now you gave it to them as though it were a spent match, useless and impersonal.

 

You were twenty-two when you faced your greatest fear. On was your birthday, actually, though you only realised that later. A wry smile. It seemed fitting, considering the events of the day. 

You ran into ash and fire and choking, suffocating soot, and you watched your projections flicker and retreat before the roaring flames. It took all the will you had to keep from imitating them, but you pressed on. If you had to die to save this boy who gave you courage, to finally save a life rather than ending one, then so be it.

 

Your name is Megan Tarash, and you know who you are.

**Author's Note:**

> I promised a friend Megan fluff. This is what I wrote. I DIDN'T MEAN TO I'M SORRY!  
> (Crossposted to tumblr here: http://ailavyn-siniyash.tumblr.com/post/115373326605)


End file.
